Hitman’s Wife Bodyguard Review: A Brainless, Rude Action Sequel

Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson return in a brainless, crass sequel with a dash of slapstick laughs. Bodyguard of the Hitman’s Wife Teams up the bizarre murderous couple with an equally raunchy con artist in a well-worn plot to save Europe’s technical infrastructure. The action comedy is packed with gunshots, chases and fights. The problem is, the violence is too superficial and far-fetched. The film embraces stupidity to the point of fault. Resulting in a complete waste of its veteran Hollywood ensemble cast.

Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard picks up with Michael Bryce (Ryan reynolds) having lost his security clearance and his “Triple A” license. Being a bodyguard was the only goal of his life. Lost and dejected, he sees a therapist who is quickly annoyed by his whiny chatter. She recommends that he take a well-deserved vacation on the beautiful beaches of Capri, Italy.

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Michael’s respite is ruined by Sonia Kincaid (Salma hayek). The newlywed Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson) has been kidnapped by Italian gangsters. His last words to his beloved were to get Michael Bryce for the rescue. Michael despises Darius, blames him for all his troubles and has given up on using a gun. His resolve is put to the test as the mismatched trio are drawn into Interpol’s investigation into the infamous Greek billionaire, Aristotle Papadopoulos (Antonio Banderas).

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard drops more F-Bombs than a gangster rap album. The characters spit out the curse in each sentence. Samuel L. Jackson has made quite a career of saying “mother”, but that’s a higher level curse. And that’s just a small sample of Salma Hayek’s multilingual expletives. Swear words are meaningless and not offensive when used so casually. Vulgarity is no substitute for weak dialogue. I don’t know if the actors improvise or recite the script, but the blasphemy has little comic value.

Ryan Reynolds is crushed, thrown like a rag doll, and brain-spattered several times throughout the film. Some gags are very funny. Reynold’s sarcastic delivery works with physical comedy. The shenanigans just lose their luster in the second act. The character’s story of reclaiming his license and self-esteem becomes obsolete. There is no reason for Michael Bryce to tolerate all of this nonsense; besides being a punching bag and the weight of all the jokes.

The hitman’s wife bodyguard doesn’t chew the big budget action. The film runs at full speed with huge action scenes. I just wish they weren’t so cartoonish. The characters are never really in trouble. And when they’re hurt, like they’re hit by a car, they straighten up and keep kicking their asses. No action is meant to be taken seriously. I think the comic element is overkill. The filmmakers had to reduce the farce and insert a more realistic danger. The first film was much better in this regard.

Frank Grillo, Richard E. Grant and Morgan Freeman have supporting roles. They are initially humorous, then become bland and forgettable. This seems to be the main flaw in all aspects of the narrative. The language, the action, and the traps are less funny as the film progresses. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is a Millennium Media and Summit Entertainment production. It hits theaters on June 16 through Lionsgate.

Topics: The Hitmans Bodyguard 2

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